Get out of pain and off the crazy train.
You know what I’m talking about.
The “crazy train” in which one of you gets mad, so the other shuts down. The more one pursues, the more the other avoids. Whatever your “crazy train” looks like, it’s causing you pain. Couples therapy can help you destroy this cycle before it destroys your relationship.
Hi, I’m Rebecca.
I don’t believe you’re the problem, and I don’t believe your partner is the problem (though, don’t get me wrong, I will call one or both of you out when you’re out of line). Your pattern is the problem. Change the pattern, and you change your relationship.
And yet there’s a reason you’re stuck in that pattern. A very good reason. You may not consciously want it, but it’s so familiar. Dr. John Gottman’s research shows that 69% of arguments in marriages never get fully resolved. But you can change the reactive patterns related to these disagreements—usually rooted in shame and fear—that are destroying your intimacy.
Relationships are hard work, but the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results. All too often, couples work harder on the same old patterns, with the same old tools, and they wonder why it’s not working. Therapy is also hard work, but it’s the right kind of hard that gets you back on track toward a relationship that’s loving, life-giving, and, yes, even fun.
So if you’re ready to try a different kind of hard that can actually get you the results you want, click the button below to schedule a free 15-minute video consult.
